I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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