I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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