I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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