if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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