I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sext me about skeletons
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The adults are the big ones right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
