Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
