I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
