Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
