Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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