somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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