Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
