is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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