Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Please don't give away my fajitas
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
