Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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