we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize