Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
