he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
