Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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