I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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