Moan for me like Helen Keller
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize