Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
two words...techno handjob
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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