i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
whose parrot is this?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
