Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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