the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize