So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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