I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
