I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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