He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
