TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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