Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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