I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
3pm strippers are depressing
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
