Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
