Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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