I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
