So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
