Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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