"it" just moved
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
