But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
