absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
