It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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