Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
