dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
