hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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