dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
