yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
FUCK WHALES
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