The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
