Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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