id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
