so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
