we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
