I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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