You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
