I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
