My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
