I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize