nut hugger
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
