Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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